The Blessingway

Three weeks before our beautiful Ayla arrived I had a very special day, and although it's been so long since it happened (a lifetime it feels like), I really wanted to mark it here and share the photos. 

It was my Blessingway, and for those of you who haven't been to one, it's very much like a spiritual, sacred version of the modern baby shower. The fundamental difference being that you don't shower the baby, you shower the mother, and not with material things but with the love and support of those women closest to her. The women who she feels complete trust with. 

For me this was so significant in so many ways. Having only moved here 5 years ago, I spent a good few of those years feeling lonely and isolated. Sure I had a busy world around me and my children had friends and so did I, but there is a huge difference between casual friendship and real deep connection. I was lucky enough to find those connections and after time, looked up to find myself surrounded by strong, beautiful women. Women with heart and integrity. Women who know themselves and have no need for 'one upmanship', bitchy behaviours or shallow chitchat. I have a community now in which I can always be honest, which is an incredibly rare and precious thing. 

And the beautiful thing is I get to share that with my daughters. 

The blessing way was an opportunity to celebrate womanhood in all its forms, but especially motherhood. It's to acknowledge what the woman has gone through, is going through and what is to come, and to demonstrate the support and community which surround her. 

Oh and there's often some henna bump painting too!

Each woman offers a bead to the mother to be put onto a chain. As the bead is threaded the women say a few words about the bead they have chosen and what it represents, words of encouragement and of celebration of their relationship and of the mother herself. It's a very powerful and emotional ceremony. This chain can be worn or held during birth or just placed in eye sight, to remind the mother of the support that is reaching out to her. To remind her that she is not and never will be alone.  I held mine, during that first half an hour when I couldn't reach my midwife and Tom was busy filling the pool and dealing with the children. At that moment in which I could have felt alone and a bit scared/daunted at what was happening, instead I ran each bead through my fingers, recalling their words, their eyes and their love toward me and the support felt tangible and very very real. 

Our maidens decorated baby t shirts for Ayla and played together as they watch their mothers, and soaked up the message that this is womanhood, this is motherhood, this is what community should look like and this is what they should expect for themselves. 

And of course, as with every good gathering there must be cake!

I felt like a goddess, I felt loved and I could really feel what I have been lucky enough to be a part of here. It is something I passionately believe all women should have, and all women should know about themselves. We are powerful individuals but together we are unstoppable.